I am learning more about the little bits. All little bits I don’t still know and I am grieving and loving, silly to grow into what everyone does say about growing. It’s strange like a concerto and as dull and boggling. I am grateful every day for this, the inspiring, the slowness.
In a brief moment of east coast college fame, an ode to the heroin chic queen glowing on the hometown plain, I dove into the creations of Chinese philosophy. A professor conniving, demanding, prying me to invest. There was an abundance coinciding all at once then, tickling the recess of my mind like warning, daunting, guiding. Back then I reckoned I’d got grip, it felt expository and meaningful, symbolic, horridly personalized. There was a truth, an identity that shook me to my core and meaningfully challenged me, for the first time, in the strength of my cultural foundations. A gleaming example.
Reverence, demeanor, pursuit of life felt in greater guidance, more apparent in the actions and poise of the people. My eyes were opening when the world bulged. Even on auto pilot, I suspect my body would have led me down a likewise course. It continues, in simple sweet sense, to lend as my mast, all the worry beside. Crackle crackle, the immediacy took hold.
The world quickly became so fragile, grave, incessant, and astonishingly real for the first time in whiles. A strange and familiar exhale, as my body knows the great shifting of this land just in the wind. My mind, still winding, only strives to ride those coat tails of truth and peace. It was like plastic. More plastic, more plastic, not one ideal rooted in the place of truth, of wisdom, of intuition. Strange indeed to be so young, crippling, rebuilding, understanding the world in human value as society turns its back. No other life would have greeted me, for in no words this was the way I intuitively knew.
People I miss and continue to lose, prayers you are well, extending yourselves to your best health and your best mind, to the bright light that twinkles inward. May the people you grace challenge you, open you to what will guide.
Harrowing, how well I know myself, how the book of facts or fallacies keeps shrinking and I am growing, no words to establish who I am, just as I am. With all this time I have grown quiet. I remain, open armed and more full, whole than I have ever existed and people dissipate with smoke. Warm smiles, more often we would dance and chuckle in the dream realm. I wonder if my energy, my wholeness still floats about in the rest.
The fours sprouts, they led me well and continue to implore each day. Not so much in my convenience or alignment, but my the first rooted belief that made sense of shape and symbol. It lingers clearly how peoples found their peace, their health and wealth in the words of the mosses and dirt and blood.
Cultivation of a proper soul, of a large and whole heart, nod to my mothers and their mothers fathers. As a child I would know and be proud.
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