Again, I am in your dreams you say. You cannot sleep me off or write me away, and it is tantalizing, strange how and what we are becoming. Our journey, drifting worlds apart, and still binded in the muck of our energies. This alone confirms my path. It is our permanent product.
I can’t remember you either. You, true as daylight, wandered with me through the thicket of my dreams last night, too. Funny. I woke up to this funky morning, large spider lurking and falling off the wall frazzled just like me. I dreamt of him them when I went back to sleep. You are my whole body. I can not remember you until these moments. I am washed with your person, tethered to a feeling of us and the looks we share. These days it has been a torment, your curling glowing hair.
You are dreaming of me, I come to find. We must resolve because you dream of me, because all these other times I dream of you have not been enough to compel. I miss you, I do not want to hold all of this.
The whole time I know I was with you, have been with you, in your dream. Just as you have been with me and seeking something, pecking at apologies. Sisters, I remember.
It has been you, inside me, for some time now. I have been sincerely shying away, not hoping for our conversations to bloom, trying to nudge off and onward. Aiding the break you seem to want. Many, many months, not shrinking. I want to talk to you so badly, more poignantly than anyone in my life, but I cannot beat my soul dry and let you in, not at the convenience of your whim. Blessed by the length of my arms.
I know it is you, your words are not my words and though I have forgotten you, never more clearly in the past year have I felt you. Have I felt you than these dreams. What is coming for us? Spiraling sick, I hope you are getting love too.
“I know you probably haven’t felt love from me but know it is there.”
Tears well in my eyes. I am silent.
This wasn’t who I expected to be.
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